Recollection I: The Tale of Life and Death
Each of my family carried a copy of The Tales From The Privy, and they gave me a copy too, inscribed with messages from all of them in different parts of the book.
I still haven't checked what it says, and I certainly don't want to right now.
But as with their stories, I want to start this story with the story that started it all- The Tale of Life and Death.
From the 'Tales From The Privy', Book 1, Fable 1
The following tale has been reproduced faithfully from the 'Tales From The Privy', down to each and every comma:
Times may change, worlds may change, magic may change.
What will never change are the humans.
And the truths of the world.
Aeons ago, when Life and Death still walked among humans, humans loved Death.
Death is the most just of all of God's creations.
Loyal, steadfast and never wavering, Death followed everyone equally persistently, rich or poor, happy or sad, good or evil.
Back then, humans had the wisdom to see things as they were, and seeing that Death was all that remained when they lost everything, Death became everything they had.
Humanity lived a life true to the values it set for itself, whether virtuous or sinful, and died faithfully in the arms of Death at the end of their terms, privy to the knowledge that they had lived a life they could proudly claim as their own.
And this was how Life came to be envious of Death.
Life was not as faithful a friend as Death, with each fortunate and unfortunate happenstance, it changed directions, and was never clear with its intentions - much like a fickle mistress, who chose the man with fortune, not the one who offers loyalty.
Waiting for no one, it courted men as it fancied. There was not a moment's hesitation before it discarded the old ones, always riding the winds of fortune from man to man.
Life was a mistress, and death was a wife.
Humanity knew this, and back then they still remembered that too strong an attachment to Life will inevitably break the bond a person had with oneself.
Each human, therefore, gave its best to live a Life they could proudly let go of.
Once, unable to contain its jealousy, Life approached the devils to corrupt humans.
"Promise them fast riches", it said, "and I shall promise them the time to enjoy them. Together, we will rule over all of humanity."
The devils, with their own grand ambitions of conquering heaven, hell and everything in between, eagerly accepted.
Death was not wise to such games of deceit, nor was it inclined to learn and protect itself.
As always, it trusted the humans and their decisions, even if it meant they ran away from the only certain thing in Life: Death.
The betrayal to Death and to their own free selves weighed heavily upon the soul of Death, and it was then that it started wearing the ominous black robes we remember it by now to mourn the lives corrupted by that greed.
The angels, the race tasked with protecting the earthly beings from their heavenly abode, appeared in several human dreams, to stop the chaos before it corrupted their being.
Alas, humanity went deaf on them, as it always has when wisdom is conveyed without judgement on the evil.
God, unable to further let the events take their due course, passed his judgement.
He cursed Life and devils and humans thus for their unbound greed and uncouth faithlessness:
Life was doomed to always be chased by humans, no matter the cost, and the more the humans sacrificed their humanity for it, the more chaotic and unstable Life became for all humans walking the earth at the time.
Devils were doomed to be confined to hell, in a state we cannot define as neither life nor death.
Humans were doomed to chase Life forever, and in doing so, in never living a life true to themselves. They would chase Life at the cost of being themselves.
Slowly, Life ceased to exist as it did earlier, now becoming the chaos each human faces with their birth.
Death, shrouded in its endless sorrow and grief, chose to go invisible, only appearing to the humans in their final moments, the hour in which they are neither fully alive nor fully dead.
In its final hour before deciding to go invisible, Death wept sorrowfully in an unknown land, by a river now known as the Styx, which was still surrounded by farmlands back then. The Scythe we see carved in the stones today is the final possession it carried away from the realm of men, the weapon it now uses to guard Humanity against further misfortunes.
It slays the evil with its blade. It liberates the heroes with its blade.
Sometimes, it claims innocent souls from torture, in an attempt to rouse heroes to save the land.
It cries alone, it walks alone, it lives alone.
But it never abandons its role.
Death is the most just of all of God's creations.
Prologue: A Wishful Evening
The brother and the sister reclined upon the sakura-covered cliff, their forms peacefully illuminated by the bright moonlight.
"You need not have come here."
"You are here."
"And all others are still down below."
"And so?"
"They have food and fire and warmth there."
"It felt nice to me too while you were sulking there in the corner. The fire turned cold when you left. It was weird - I think it was flickering hotter than ever."
"They call me the Queen Glacier I know. I am not sure why you think I am that warm," the sister chuckled in irony.
"It is true that reality is cold and harsh and cruel. But masks are scary, they can change anytime they want to. A cold person can be as cold as she wants to, but she will never change her colour," the brother smiled, contentedly.
"I doubt those idiots can wear masks, I am not sure why you compared to those down there," the sister hmph'ed and made it a point to turn exactly 90 degrees away from him.
Someone flopped onto the grass beside her.
"I hate you for ignoring us like that."
Of course. The clingy one, Warui, had followed her too - and the scientist and the annoying devil too. Riya's evening seemed to offer no respite from chaos.
They were a rather peculiar set of orphans. In a world of magic and envy and power, perhaps it was their craving for a pure love that helped them stick to each other loyally and without any hesitation.
"Ohh, I didn't see you there," the sister was lying facedown at this point.
"There are more chances of clouds raining immortality elixirs than there is of you not noticing us following you two," the red devil sipped contentedly on a mug of ale he had swiped from an unsuspecting patron.
"Immortality elixirs don't exist, Karma." the scientific one made a face at him, disapproving of him both morally and scientifically.
"That was the point," the brother could hardly keep in his laugh at this point. He broke into an uncontrollable fit of unashamed chortle, followed by Warui with her badly-disguised laughter, Karma's sneaky sniggers and even Noire cracked a reluctant smile, though she was as enthusiastic for laughs as she was for non-scientific statements. And yet, they almost made her laugh that day.
"Did you all just come to ruin my perfectly peaceful evening?" Riya's voice shook. It was difficult to tell if the sister was laughing or crying at this point.
"Well, that's what a family does, you know," said Noire, the scientific one, much to the surprise of everyone else.
"Bah! Learn to read the room, Noire. Riya is obviously happy we joined her!" Karma had drained the mug and was shaking it upside down, trying to shake any remaining drop in his open mouth.
He did not regret charging the owner of the mug triple for that ale, and it was doubtful whether the owner regretted it either.
The host was a handsome man and her love interest, after all.
The brother snatched away the cup.
"Stop looting our customers, Karma!" he gave him a -_- look that threatened to launch into yet another 'we have to be good hosts' lecture.
"And I should loot, what? Your heart, Akise?" Karma slyly slipped in a kiss to his boyfriend, who was now stammering and trying to cover up his red cheeks in the folds of his hands on his knees.
"You are blushing," Riya observed, finally taking a visible interest in her companions.
"And you are no longer pouting. I will consider our efforts today a success! Good work team!"
"Shut up. I came here to watch the Leon wish shower. Look, it is starting!"
"You can watch it, not like me talking will hide your stars," Akise remarked, half-amused and half-exasperated.
All five of them closed their eyes simultaneously.
Perhaps it would have been impossible to guess what each would have wished for at any other time, but on that night, in the company of the falling stars and the twinkling ones and the ones on their side, the moon shone bright and proud - at having fulfilled their wish before they even asked for it.
Chapter I: The Frozen Slumber
I was just a child back then.
I am not sure when it started. I remember my parents hated me for being born a girl, they blamed each other for it and fought in front of me when I was still an infant.
I am not sure how I remember I was 3 years old back then, and I don't know why I remember this.
Girls cannot carry family legacy forward apparently, they have to be wed off and sent far far away, but I still wanted to work hard to make up for being a girl and help the family, but I don't think it mattered to them.
No matter how hard I worked or how much better I became, I would always remain a girl, I eventually realised.
When my younger brother was born, I thought the problems would be solved and I could be a part of the family again, but when he was born, I vanished.
On that day, I threw a tantrum because she would not read me the story of the brave knight. She slapped me, and I ran off from home.
I ran away very far at first and I was scared they would not be able to find me, but because I wanted them to work hard and find me, I stayed put for the first hour. I was sitting in the forest creek, the one where the hunters always set up camp and exchanged news of dangerous predators in the area.
I sat as near to the fire as I could to warm myself, but it wasn't working for some reason. I was still cold.
I snuggled nearer, and I could hear the embers of the fire crackle this time, and I could also hear the resounding echo of the slap that had turned my cheek red.
Just when I was about to cry for mommy, I noticed that the animals were taking shelter. I remembered reading how animals always knew something was coming, so I wondered if they couldn't find me because somebody had gotten lost trying to find me in the forest.
So I ran home as fast as my seven-year-old legs could carry me, just in time to see my papa instructing the manservant to come inside because a snowstorm was incoming.
"But where is your daughter, Sir?" he asked my father, and I nearly ran out of my hiding space.
"She must be inside somewhere crying in a corner like always. I don't know why she is always irritating her mother. Come inside quickly now, stop wasting time worrying about her. And bring Martha in too, she brings in most of our business."
I still wanted to cry for my mommy and papa, but for some reason my little body failed me.
It failed to carry me inside and it refused to cry.
The most I could manage was to just sit and hug myself tightly, and wonder why I was born and why I wasn't dead yet.
It was then that I met them.
I am not sure if I actually met them first or if they just took me to their safe place from my frozen slumber, all I can say for sure is that they did save me.
They weren't much older than me, the oldest of them was only three years older than me. But they were so much more wiser, stronger and braver than me.
My parents didn't actually die, you see, but their parents did.
I did not know it then, but the four children who saved me were the last surviving heirs of the Holy Ones.
Akise, the eldest of them, saw the unwanted daughter of the village chief freezing herself to death for the sin of having taken birth, and took upon him the onus of giving her a life, a home and a family.
The others weren't enthusiastic about bringing me along at first.
But that was before I opened my eyes, slowly, painfully, and looked up at them. In my bleary, exhausted gaze, they met eyes that had tasted reality long before they could ever touch dreams.
In that frozen forest, they saw themselves in me.
And thus, with each taking turns carrying me through the snow, with Akise carrying me the longest, they took me to Elysium.
The home for everyone who didn't have another.
I lay asleep for most of the journey and hardly remember the path they travelled, but there was a point when they made campfire in the woods and draped me in their thickest shawls.
I forced my eyes open, I was still unsure whether I had been saved or abducted.
His white hairs were coated with snow, almost indistinguishable from the ones on the trees.
Mustering every strand of energy left in my small, weak body, I weakly called out to him.
"You can leave me here," I whispered.
Akise frowned.
"Why?"
"Because I'm not yours."
The four of them exchanged confused looks.
"You are now."
And I slept soundly for the rest of our journey.
Chapter II: The First Tea
I remember waking up next to a warm yet intense fire crackling blue in a stone chimney.
I wasn't even sure it was fire; my first instinct on seeing those pretty blue flames was to try and touch them.
A stern-looking girl next to me pulled back my hand.
"Can't you see it is a fire? You will burn your hand!" she chided.
I had an inkling it was fire, of course, but it didn't really matter to me. Either outcome would have been fine by me.
"I meant it when I said you are one of us now. You are my sister, and even if no one cared before, I care for you now. You can call me Onii chan." My brother was wiping a set of tea cups he found in a nearby cupboard and setting it out for tea.
"Will you help me take care of you?"
I couldn't meet his eyes.
I gazed forlornly at the logs lit on fire at the bottom of the clean chimney. It was a pleasant fire, and even with me sitting so near it, it didn't make my eyes sting.
"Wait, why aren't the logs burning? The chimney floor is also too clean, what is this fire?"
"Oho, you seemed to have got yourself a good disciple, Miss Scientist," a red-haired boy walked in and pretended to pour the tea on the table, making Akise nii panic.
The merry devil simply laughed and poured tea for everyone.
I noticed the stern girl studying me with an appraising eye, as though realising for the first time that I might not be as foolish as she had assumed.
For some reason, her look made me blush.
I continued staring into the flames adamantly.
"Where is your sister, you mischief?" Akise nii asked him, his brows creased with concern.
"Trying to get the biscuits down and trying harder not to burn the kitchen down," Karma chuckled, promptly squeezed in between Noire and me.
"Oh lord." My brother dashed toward the kitchen.
The pink-haired girl is very clumsy, I told myself. It was a declaration she would spend the rest of our lives proving right.
The merry devil looped an arm around my neck. "Never stay alone in the same room as this girl," he wagged a finger toward Noire, "she loves experimenting on humans." He shook his head solemnly.
"I would never think of doing that to her!" the stern girl defended herself, horrified.
"But don't you want to know what a human brain is like? She seems to have an amazingly dumb one, just like the human kids you taught." He seemed to be trying to convince the studious girl to make me her lab sacrifice.
Akise nii came back in the time being, a now battered and bruised pink-haired girl trailing behind her.
"Achoooo!" she sneezed, and powdered snow fell off her like it did from the Iks trees when they are shaken.
"She was fighting a hailbloom," he grimaced at her, taking out a bunch of biscuits from a shiny tin can.
"It fought me first!" she cried.
"Congratulations! You found an even dumber specimen than the human child!" the devil exclaimed.
I couldn't control anymore and burst into a fit of the most childish, girly giggles you can possibly imagine.
It was Akise nii who first joined in with his chortles, then the pink girl and the devil with their sniggers, and finally the stern girl also cracked a smile.
"Your tea will get cold, everyone come!" My brother hurried us all, and he introduced himself and the others.
"I am Akise, and this is Karma," he pointed to the mischief next to him, "and that is his sister Warui and our little scientist Noire", he pointed towards the pink-haired girl and the stern girl.
"We are the last of the holy ones of the ancient empire of Privy and this place which is our new home is called Elysium. It is a sanctuary the first holy ones built against humanity. It seems they knew today would come," his eyes dropped a little lower.
I couldn't understand everything he said accurately back then, of course; but between the circumstances and my later studies, my childhood self caught the general drift.
"I am Riya! I like reading and writing and painting and my father..." before I knew it, my eyes went moist and teardrops trickled down silently like a stream.
The room was quiet save for the crackle of the fire, and the reverie was only broken by a loud, unceremonial sneeze from Warui.
Everyone glared at her.
"I am sorry," she seemed to be ready to cry herself.
I ran over to her from side of the table and draped her in the blanket Akise nii had wrapped me in earlier.
"You need to take care of yourself, you will catch a cold! Come sit on the hearth, I will carry your tea cup for you," I held her hand and helped her settle down and brought her tea to her from the table, while the others crowded around us and Akise nii handed me my tea.
"I will help you take care of me," I gazed heavily into the swirling orange tea, and he smiled warmly.
"I know you will," my big brother patted me on my head.
That was the first and last time we had our tea together in complete silence.
We always have tea together, either to Noire's scientific lectures or Akise's teasing sessions or Warui's passionate discourses on the weight and advantage of each weapon type.
Maybe our silence together was not as much out of exhaustion as it was out of respect for everything we left behind - and for the solidarity of what we hoped to build together.
Chapter III: The PlanTea
The blue fire, Noire later told me, was the Blue Fire of Warmth.
It seemed a rather unimaginative name, I thought, and she probably sensed the sarcasm.
"Meals shared together are the most important part of the day, even for the holy ones. This holy fire, lit by our first forefather, protects the defenders of peace from animosity within these walls."
I instantly remembered the moment we shared at our first tea, and Noire again seemed to have sensed that.
She smiled warmly.
"When I said I wanted you both to study, I meant teaching Riya the sciences."
A faint smile tugged at Akise's lips.
"Though seeing you learn how to smile isn't half bad either."
"I know how to smile, thank you very much." Noire sat down with all the dignity of an offended queen.
"And here I thought you were using mariyokou to lift the corners of your mouth", Karma calmly set down the biscuit tin.
I sat down beside a now-pouting Noire.
"Hmph!" She hmph'ed.
"Where is Warui?" She turned to Aki-nii, who made a face of undisguised suspicion at Karma.
"I told her the flour was sugar."
He took a calm sip of tea.
Aki-nii promptly dashed to the kitchen.
"One might think you hate your sister", Noire took a biscuit Karma was holding out to her.
For the first time that evening, Karma hesitated.
"That so?" He took one for himself and started nibbling on it.
"Aachoo!" The sneeze was somewhat muffled this time, and if I hadn't known Warui earlier, I would have mistaken her pink hair and white breath to belong to a dragon keeper.
I was already halfway across the room before I realised I'd stood up.
Aki-nii was shaking the flour free from her hair, and I helped her combat the particles stubbornly clinging to the seams of her dress.
Noire took a look at Karma, let out an exasperated sigh and snapped her fingers.
The flour vanished in an instant, as though reality had simply decided it had never been there.
"You can magick!" I was dumbfounded. My family, not realising I didn't know they could, let out a short chuckle.
"You didn't know?" Karma had an amused twinkle in his eye.
"You are the only holy ones I know." I held Warui's hand and helped her to a chair next to me.
"And the only ones you will ever know..." Something in Warui's voice made my chest tighten.
Warui's head slumped as she said this, and I gently patted her with my little hand.
"Thankfully, we have each other. Don't worry, everyone!" Big brother passed around a warm smile and biscuits to each of us.
Noire smiled softly to herself, or at least I think she did.
Warui gave me a bashful smile.
I turned back to Aki-nii.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Karma watching Warui.
His smile remained, but it no longer reached his eyes.
"And that's why we must learn to sustain ourselves. We only have each other now."
"There had to be a better way to say that, Noire. But you are right, we all need to keep learning and continue our education," Akise asserted.
There was a weak noise of protest from everyone except Noire.
She just sipped her tea contentedly.
"And the education has to be well-rounded, meaning all of us will study every field, including communication, politics and brute force defenses."
It was Noire's turn to protest.
"Why do we need to learn communication or politics? Riya is too easy to talk to for communication to be its own field of study!"
I wasn't sure whether to feel flattered or insulted at Noire's outburst.
As long as she doesn't put my brain in her lab jar for her research, I eventually decided.
"You intend to abandon our ancestral duties?" Aki-nii wore a solemn look.
It was my first time seeing him so serious since I met him, and it scared and worried me in equal measure.
"The only reason we are not acting now is because of our lack of abilities required to carry out our duties. We must carry out our responsibilities even if we too end up dying for it."
The grief was still there, but it had failed to break his resolve.
"But your papa and mumma are dead! You don't have a home, why do you need to go?" My voice shook and I was on the verge of tears.
"Because that is what we were born for."
Nobody spoke.
The room suddenly felt colder.
"We will die to fulfill our duties if that's what it takes," Karma finally said.
The biscuit in my hand no longer seemed very important.
Noire stared into her tea.
Warui looked away.
They knew something I didn't.
Something important enough to make them save a girl from the very race that had taken everything from them. And after that, they were preparing themselves to one day look out for humanity.
"But we are here now, with each other and with you, and we will always protect you, so stop worrying and smile or I will dump my tea on Warui."
"Hey!" She got up hurriedly and spilled her own tea on her dress as she did.
I cracked a smile.
Karma silently turned his teacup upside down.
Nothing happened.
Not a single drop fell.
I started giggling, and Karma laughed and so did Warui and Akise. Even Noire broke into an ill-disguised laugh.
When our fits of joy were just about dying down, Karma made a beckoning motion with his hand.
The tea lifted itself from Warui's dress.
Droplets peeled away from the fabric and drifted through the air before gathering neatly back inside the cup.
I watched with undisguised wonder, Warui even let me touch her dress. It was totally dry!
"Noire will take up all sciences, Karma will take up the home science and communication, Warui will take up defense studies and I will teach you creature psyche and strategy. Questions?"
I raised a hand.
"Karma-nii will take up home sciences and communication?"
Aki-nii later told me that if question mark had a face, it would be mine while I asked that question.
At that time, though, he just sighed.
"I need to know sugar from flour to fool my dear Warui," Karma explained, slowly and carefully, with the air of a teacher teaching a amethyst-backed turtle magic.
"No, I know that already. I am more confused about the communication studies part."
"Wit and sarcasm are vital communication skills." As he said this, Karma had an air of elegance and unmistakable sense of superiority about him.
"I thought we were educating ourselves to protect our peace, not destroy it"
This time, even Noire broke into a laugh.
It was the first time someone had successfully turned Karma's own weapon against him, but it definitely wasn't the last time.
Chapter IV: Gritty
There lived a gentle, kind farmer near our house who once saw me crying under the gigantic magiflower tree.
"Fought with your mother again, Riya?" He asked.
I wasn't sure which was more sparkly, the flourescent blooms or the kind twinkle in his eye.
I looked at him and hid my head in my lap, and started crying again.
He didn't have to comfort me, he was an adult, and as I had learned in my own house, adults were busy people, too busy to play with kids. Besides, he wasn't even my papa.
He sat next to me and squeaked in a funny, high-pitched voice, "Why are you crying, Riya? Won't you watch the stars with me?"
Still teary-eyed, I opened my eyes and made an effort to look through the salty water. When that failed, I rubbed my eyes and looked again.
The man was holding a rough, sack-like teddy in his outstretched hands with buttons for eyes and untidy sewings.
"I am Gritty, your big brother. Will you play with me?" This farmer was a bad ventriloquist.
But back then, I didn't care. I happily took it from him and hugged him tight. I don't think I had ever hugged anyone before that.
"Will you go home with me now?" he asked, getting up.
"My mom will be mad," I threatened to break into a sob again.
"If I had a child this small roaming outside this late, I would be too," he outstretched his pinky finger and I took it, feeling as guilty as I did.
Back at home, my mother was glad to see me back.
"I am so sorry for this," my mother pointed at me, her face contorted into guilt and worry.
"Not at all, madam. Please have a good night, you two" he nodded at me and left.
As soon as she closed the door, my mother became a different person.
"Why didn't you come home by yourself? Don't you know how dangerous strangers are?"
"Jonie is nice!" I protested, jerking the teddy towards her.
"Is this sack a teddy bear? How nice! Now we won't have to get you a new one!" I think she was genuinely happy for herself, but I still cannot help feeling it was a cruel sneer.
"You have a teddy now, so you can also play with the other girls from now on," she remarked behind herself.
You never meant to buy me a teddy, I have always known how little I meant to them.
Gritty was my constant companion. I clutched him close through every lonely day, and especially closer when I watched his lifeless body being devoured by flames.
They had left me at home but there was no way I was going to not let Gritty give a final goodbye to his maker. My eyes needed to tell him something too, through the tiny tears of a child.
Not so long after, I lost Gritty too. My brother tore him apart, and with him, the remnants of whatever childlike happiness I had in my childhood in that house.
He didn't like teddies of course, all boys liked toy carts, but he took it just because I loved him, and my mother gave it to him just because he was a boy.
A few hours later, I saw two old buttons and a dirty cloth with grain spilling from it, lying in a pool of mud.
I gave them a solemn burial near his long-gone funeral fire and hated myself for not going with them.
The memory lingered longer than it should have, as vivid as the day it happened. Then someone called my name from very far away.
"Riya? Riya? Riya!!"
I awoke to a boy crying and calling out my name. Aki-nii held me in his arms, his eyes overflowing with tears.
"You are crying... for me?"
"You were in such a deep sleep and you were crying and in pain," I had never seen him lose his composure before this. Even when he carried me all the way here, or when he helped Warui or chided Karma. That time shattered my image of him as a calm big brother.
"You are crying for me?" I asked again, a bit more confidently than before.
"I don't want you to suffer anymore," he sobbed. "You have had enough."
And he wrapped me in his warm, strong hands.
His shirt was wet and it wet my clothes, and I still couldn't believe I was worth crying for, but I loved it. I love his love and care and kindness for me, it feels like home.
I returned his hug.
"I won't make you worry, sorry" I awkwardly patted his back.
"That will be worse. It's not that I don't want to see you in pain, I cannot let you be in pain. So the next time you cry, remember I will be offended if you don't tell me."
I could neither speak nor move.
I had no idea how to react.
Reflections